MOTHERING AND CAREGIVING.

Times of Tenderness. 

There’s a strange cognitive dissonance that arises, when one experiences the daily realities of mothering/ caregiving and matches it in some part of the sub conscious against its supposed expectations- of calm reposed meals, of houses clean.

The lived experience of caregiving lies contrasts to this, its lively, messy, chaotic and deeply felt, lasting far beyond the early weeks or even earliest years afterbirth.

At every age our children need us to nurture them through transitions of growth, from the physical developments of learning to potty train, to eat, to the emotional learning of how to recognise, feel and express emotions, to developing social and romantic relationships, to learning to use and know one’s own mind. Even within the trajectory of a perceived “normal” childhood, a path which many children and caregivers may not neatly follow- each child and carer is unique.

Honouring the ongoing nature of caregiving and it’s realities- that developing maturity occurs over decades, not months or even years, allows us to see the enduring nature of caregiving, and to more deeply acknowledge the breadth, depth and tenderness of the experience for those transitioning through it.

By Helen Coutts

13 Oct 2025.

Image Kim Verdebo .